Gone But Not Forgotten:

Blessing Your Missionary from Home
Mark & Jill Brazle

There are those who answer the call of God by opening their hands - and hearts - and letting go. They let go so the eternal treasures of Good News can be carried to far flung places in the mouths and lives of their own children and grandchildren. Their kids paid attention in Sunday School or during that mission report, and the Father started tugging at their heart, calling them to “go into all the world.” Wouldn’t you know, they took it personally!
 
Before going on, in the name of full disclosure, this thing that our kids have done to us - we did it to our parents first. In November 1977, we headed with a church planting team to Flemish Belgium where we had five children. In other words, because we answered the call of God on our lives, five grandchildren were born thousands of kilometers away, separated from their grandparents, living in a place where distance is measured in kilometers, not miles!
 
What then is the work of empty nesters who yearn for physical contact with children and grands far away? Do they have a role to play in the work? We can think of a few key words:
 
First, pray! That’s the work!

How can parents and grandparents of global workers make a difference? By praying!

Consider this starting point for your prayer list (and share what you would add):

• Pray for godly, encouraging friendships for your children and grandchildren.

• Pray for coworkers that will build them up and bring accountability.

• Pray about the books they read; pray for wisdom in making life altering 
  suggestions of what that next book needs to be. Provide the means to get that book on their Kindle.

•  Pray for their protection from the power of the evil one.Pray for their purity, the gift they will give their future spouse on their wedding night.

• Pray that the power of the media not overwhelm or undermine the work of the Holy Spirit. *

Second, encourage! If you have children or grandchildren on the field, consider it your calling to be their greatest cheerleader. Become aware of the daily challenges they are facing. Sometimes it’s as easy as simply asking the question, “What is your biggest challenge this week?” and then listening to the answer! Be alert to what might discourage and be prepared to counter with a timely word or Scripture. They will know you are thinking of them. 

Using our present technology, try…

• sending a text or quick Marco Polo at the right time could possibly be a game changer. 

• sending a card or handwritten note by snail mail – yes, with a real stamp! 

• to plan a “family Zoom call” with all the siblings of that global worker. 

• to make time for a FaceTime call to pray with your grandchild before they get tucked in thousands of miles and 8 time zones away. 

To “rejoice with those who rejoice” or “weep with those who weep”, you don’t have to be with them, but you do need to be informed about their lives.

Please note: do not ask, “When are you bringing my grandchildren back home?” That does not encourage!

So, third, be informed! Read and research concerning the area where your kids serve. What is the main ethnic group there, and what is their history? Ask questions about what the major roadblocks to the Good News in that area might be. What are the main challenges for spiritual and emotional health, education and diet? Show genuine interest in the everyday life of your kids. Start learning simple expressions in the local language and the names of the important people in their lives.

Be informed as well concerning what it means to relate to your children as bi-cultural and grandchildren as TCKs or Third Culture Kids. Among numerous resources, we encourage you to learn why the word that most describes TCKs is “Misunderstood” (Tanya Crossman). This will greatly enrich your relationship.[1]

And of course, VISIT! It may seem like a fairy tale in a COVID-19 world, but please know even planning a visit and making those plans known can serve to encourage. Parents, you need to see first-hand what your children and grandchildren are facing. You will pray differently when you have personally met those for whom you have been praying. For many, this requires getting a passport, getting on a flight or two or three, and stepping out of our comfort zones. Let us assure you - the payoff is huge! 

You might find yourself at a school program in a language you don’t understand or going with your child to a local clinic to receive the news that she is infected with a virus you have never heard of, let alone be able to pronounce. By visiting, you will find yourself in unusual and or uncomfortable circumstances through which you will have a unique window into their world and a unique opportunity to love them well.
 
Finally, I want to add a shameless plug for our “Parents of Global Workers” Facebook page. This is a closed group, because we want to be able to pray openly for our kids far away as well as each other in a community of parents who understand. To join, you’ll only need to answer a couple of questions, but, of course, the main requirement is that you be the parent of a missionary! To give you a taste of what you might find there, we close with this idea from an 

unknown author posted by Lisa Evans Wiltse on “Parents of Global Workers” on Facebook, July 4, 2020(shared by permission):

"If it were in my power to do so, I would declare the first Sunday in July, "Parents of Global Workers (POMs) Day". We have Mother's Day in May, Father's Day in June, and Grandparent's Day in September. Why not set aside a day in our year to honor those parents and grandparents whose children are serving their Lord in all parts of the world?
 
I want to celebrate the parents who bravely say goodbye in crowded airports. They send or allow their children to go, live and work so far from themselves, not knowing when they will see their children and grandchildren again. I want to celebrate the parents that help in the preparation to leave. Their support and love enable their children to go.
 
I want to honor these parents who give up the family traditions and spend holidays missing their children. I want to honor the Moms who cannot go out to lunch and go shopping with their daughters. I want to honor the grandparents who get to know their grandchildren by Skyping.
 
I pray for these loving people who have to come to grips and manage to accept their new normal. I pray that God will encourage and bless them when their hearts ache for missing those that are loved so much. I pray that God will provide for their children's needs. I pray that the blessings of God will be poured out upon these families all their days.”

This article is intended simply to prime the pump. We want to hear your thoughts, questions and comments. Simply email me: mark.brazle@mrnet.org.  

May the God of the mission grant us wisdom to know how to best encourage and sustain our children and grandchildren on the field.
 
*This list of prayer points is adapted from Elisabeth Elliot’s “Forget Me Not: A Grandmother's Influence”(on YouTube). In it, she quotes a prayer poem from Amy Carmichael that is well worth your time.

[1] Tanya Crossman, “Misunderstood: The impact of growing up overseas in the 21st Century”; see also Van Reken and Pollock, “Third Culture Kids 3rd Edition: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds”; Ulrika Ernvik, “Third Culture Kids: a gift to care for”