Welcome to March’s Messenger, a monthly publication from MRN. As we continue working our way through a model for missionary care, David Allen, a longtime missionary to Thailand, speaks to the importance of self-care as a part of the overall structure of care surrounding missionaries.

by David Allen

I received the emergency phone call well after the sun had gone down. As a missionary in northern Thailand, I had already worked hard that day and felt quite tired. It was one of our new Christian sisters who cried out in a panicked voice, “My brother is possessed by demons who are telling him to kill himself! Please help us, we don’t know what to do!” 
 
Without hesitation, I told her to bring him and the family members to my house. Several of us counseled, confronted, and prayed late into the evening. The intervention eventually brought a breakthrough and new hope to the young man. He did not kill himself that night and instead began a long journey back to health and stability. 
 
Although a spiritual battle had been won, I felt deeply conflicted inside. I knew that God had called me to minister to the Thai people, but I also knew that I could not sustain the torrid pace of ministry much longer. I was burning out doing the very things that my heart longed to do. 

The next time there was a call for help late in the evening, I jumped up to help. “God will give me the stamina I need,” I muttered to myself. I continued this pattern until one day, I found that I couldn’t continue on. I had nothing left to give. I was spiritual empty. 
 
One of the common strengths among missionaries is a genuine passion for caring for others. Missionaries often are known for compassion and going the extra mile to serve. 
 
But we also know that for every strength, there often is a corresponding weakness. For many missionaries, this weakness is a lack of self-care. When missionaries give more than they receive, the eventual result is burnout. 
 
Unfortunately, few missionaries develop a lifestyle that strengthens them as much as they seek to strengthen others. Burnout is a common reason for missionaries returning from the field prematurely. 
 
Because I did not know how to sustain my own ministry, I burned out several local leaders, and then I burned out myself. It was at this juncture that I knew I had to change or go home. 
 
One day, an older man who was aware of my struggle handed me a classic book written about a monk named Brother Lawrence. [1]   This monk lived in a monastery during the 16th century. In the story of his life, I discovered a powerful truth; our work can be worship! This simple monk spent most of his time doing the most menial of tasks – washing dishes, sweeping floors, and peeling potatoes. Yet these tasks did not exhaust him; they exhilarated him.
 
Brother Lawrence washed every dish and peeled each potato with intentionality, doing all labor with care as an expression of love for God. Because he developed an awareness of Christ’s presence as he engaged in serving (even those tasks to which he had a great aversion!), he received great nourishment and joy from the labor. 
 
Others around him who were constantly exhausted by their labors were amazed to see this monk full of joy and enthusiasm. And they learned from his example. The book reveals what enabled Brother Lawrence to serve – he did everything for the love of God. 

“In his business in the kitchen, having accustomed himself to do everything there for the love of God, and with prayer, upon all occasions, for His grace to do his work well, he found everything easy during the fifteen years that he had been employed there.”

The foundation of caring for self – and others – is found in learning the deep enjoyment gained from doing all for the love of God. This persistent practice brings us into the presence of the Lord. And it is there that we find Peace. Renewal. Contentment. Joy. In His presence, we find the sustained strength we need to serve others – while we are serving them.
 
I had learned the great benefits of daily prayer and going away to a quiet place to pray alone in my own life. These times restored my strength, but the strength did not last very long once I was back in the daily work of other peoples’ lives. I was getting emptier more quickly as time went on in the mission field. 
 
The lesson Brother Lawrence taught me is this: God’s servant finds joy and nourishment not only from his/her time alone with God, but also from the work of serving others. God is always there. The Holy Spirit does not stop filling us when we walk away from our quiet time. Every service, every labor, even the most menial task, can be an act of worship and awareness of the holy presence of God. 
 
As long as I separated my work from what refreshed me, I was headed towards burnout. But when my work became worship and enjoying the presence of God, it refreshed me. 

We often fill our cup from times of solitude and then go out and intensely serve until it is empty. This is not a balanced practice or strategy for ministry. Instead, let us seek to have our cup constantly filled by the spirit, whether alone or working, so that we are serving others out of the overflow of the Spirit within us. 
 
Our focus always should be on loving God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. As we gaze upon his beauty, power, and holiness, we are filled and transformed. When we serve the poor, heal the sick, and speak the words of the Gospel, we can see the face of Jesus in them. He is always there and will sustain us!
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[1] The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence