Last month, we considered some of what it takes to discern a call from God to the mission field. This month, Andy Johnson talks to us about two other early steps in the life of a missionary family: bonding time with the sending church and the creation of a working agreement between the missionary family and their church.

by Andy Johnson

Not every relationship gets off on the right foot. I know a thing or two about this, as I had to spend the first few months of friendship with my eventual bride making up for a terrible first impression (on a completely unrelated note, don’t let your first interaction with someone you’d like to date be making fun of their best friend). The fact that a relationship doesn’t start off perfectly doesn’t preclude the possibility of it becoming a great one, but things sure are easier when they get off to a good start. Two important components of getting a church/missionary family relationship off to a great start are the time spent bonding and the creation of a working agreement.

Bonding
When we talk about bonding at MRN, we generally refer to the time that missionaries spend with their overseeing church prior to launching to the field. This is an important season in which the church and the missionary family have ample opportunity both to give and to receive blessing. It generally comes after they’ve discerned their call, participated in some kind of assessment and training process, and raised the majority of their funds to launch to the field. It’s pretty much the last stop prior to hitting the field.
 
To begin with, clear communication matters! Before the missionary family arrives, outline expectations and goals for this time together. Go ahead and schedule the major building blocks of their time with your church as early as possible, and do not neglect to include moments of time for their family to be just their family. As you are scheduling, keep in mind the reality that life will get busier toward the end of the bonding experience, so do your best to front-load their time.
 
Church staff play an important role in a successful bonding experience, which is part of why it matters so much that missions be an outgrowth of the identity of the church, rather than an addendum tacked on by the missions committee. When the ministers of a church truly believe in what’s coming, they won’t need to be convinced to be involved; they’ll see the value and want to invite the missionary family into their spaces. The ministers of a church are the ones who are able to grant access to the various pockets of community within the church. For instance:

• Missionaries should be offered time with the children’s ministry. Children talk often with God and should be trusted to become informed prayer warriors for the work. Additionally, part of the benefit to a church of sending is the gift of raising up daughters and sons from within to become the next generation of those sent; this starts in the children’s ministry!

• Missionaries need time with both student and campus ministries. The mission field is full of workers who were inspired to consider going in part because of getting to know a missionary personally at this important time in their life.

• Missionaries should be invited into adult spaces, whether Bible classes, small groups, or prayer groups. The nascent relationships formed during these brief interactions can turn into years-long partnerships in the gospel!

• Missionaries also need guidance from church staff about whom to pursue to form relationships. The reality is that they will not have time to get to know everyone in the church; if there are key people at your congregation whom they really need to know, provide those introductions for them.

A special word for you preachers and worship ministers: bonding missionaries need access to the whole family on Sunday mornings. Really. I know those few minutes when the whole church has gathered in one space are precious; use them to illustrate how much you want the church to care about launching a new family. Offer your bonding missionaries significant roles in the worship service and help them understand how to do what you’d like done with excellence – they don’t do what you do every week, and they may need some coaching!

Correspondingly, a special word for you bonding missionaries: when you are entrusted with a role at your church, do it with excellence! Address what you’ve been asked to address, be creative, get advice about how to connect, and, for crying out loud, respect time limits! As your new church’s staff comes to trust you to serve with excellence in meaningful ways that fit within what the church as a whole is doing, you will find yourself invited into more opportunities. Be patient, be persistent, and follow through with quality work.

Working Agreements
Remember how I said that good communication is essential to a good bonding experience? That’s what a working agreement is all about. This is not a contract in which lawyers need to be involved (although I have met a few missions-minded lawyers in my time); it is an agreement between family about expectations and commitments.

Here are a few things to consider as you craft the working agreement between your church and your new missionary family:

• To begin with, who’s involved and for how long? How often will you revisit this agreement? It’s not a bad idea to do so every home assignment.

• In broad terms, what are the workers being sent to do? What will success look like?

• How often will they report on the work and to whom?

• What about the end? What responsibilities will the church have to the missionaries as they reenter?

• Consider finances.

  • How much will they be paid? By when each month?

  • How do they handle work expenses? Are they advanced or reimbursed?

  • Who’s responsible for taxes?

• Decide how often the missionary family will come stateside on home assignment and for how long. Once children reach school age, this may need to be revisited.

  • How much time will missionaries be expected to dedicate to ‘church’ and how much to ‘family’? A good rule of thumb is 1/3 with the church, 1/3 with his family, and 1/3 with hers.

  • For other considerations on hosting a home assignment, check out this post.

• How often will someone from the church come to visit? Who picks out those (lucky) visitors?

• How much time is allotted for vacation? What about for spiritual renewal?

• It’s not fun, but it’s also important to work through ‘heat of the moment’ decisions in the cool of bonding.

  • What happens if one of the missionaries dies? What about if they’re kidnapped?

    • Churches, please don’t let your missionaries head to the field without a will in place! That would be a good place for one of those mission-minded lawyers to serve…

  • What will you do when a family member stateside passes? During our first two years on the field, I lost all three of my surviving grandparents. I ultimately chose not to return for the funerals, but I knew that I could have chosen to do so because it was spelled out in our working agreement. There’s a big difference between knowing you could go and feeling trapped during times of mourning.

While I suggest working through those questions on your own between the missionary family and the church, we have a sample working agreement available for you here.
 
That might feel like a lot; it feels that way because it is! Launching a family well is a complicated undertaking, but it’s absolutely worth it. All of the work that you, Churches, and you, Missionaries, put in at the beginning will bear fruit down the road. Do not short-change these processes, friends. Launching in a healthy fashion is worth doing right, even if it is hard.
 
Part of why we exist is to help churches launch missionaries well. Reach out to us with questions on any of these topics or suggestions about ways we can serve!