by David

Former worker in Thailand

What do I wish my church had known about me, my family, or my work during my time on the field?

The rainy season was in full force when our plane descended to the Chiang Mai airport on August 1, 1994. A third of the city flooded within the week as we tried to decide where to live.

Little did I know that our 5-year commitment would turn into 25 years of missionary service to the Thai people. Looking back now, one thing is clear – there is no way that we would have survived those years without the faithful and strong support of our sponsoring church. I constantly thank God for the incredible gift of a faithful church family.

I didn’t have high expectations for our sponsoring church. During our year of team training, we heard some hard stories from older missionaries about having the support suddenly cut and being left high and dry on the field.

One of our hero missionary couples – Wendell and Betty Broom – spent more than 40 years on the mission field and lost their support 4 times! They passed on wise words to our team as we departed, “Remember who your real boss is.”

After hearing the experiences from many missionaries, I wonder if we might have had one of the best supporting churches out there. What a great blessing they have been! If I were writing about all the things that our church did right, I would need a much longer article. However, as in any relationship, things weren’t perfect. Here are some things that I wish they had known.

I wish they knew how hard it was to come back for home assignment. Our schedule filled up with 2 or 3 appointments every day for 10-12 weeks. Although we relished the time with old friends and eating great meals, the hard pace wore us down. To make matters more difficult, many members perceived our time back in the States as vacation or down time.

I wish that they knew that we felt differently when they said, “We are so impressed with you and your family sacrificing so much to do missionary work.” Like Andy stated so well last month, it was difficult to be put on a pedestal that we didn’t deserve. We never felt that we were better than anyone else in the church.  Actually, we preferred our life in the mission field to what we gave up back home.

We didn’t feel like we had given up more than we gained. Our supporting church didn’t know just how close and strong our family became because our children grew up in the mission field. Our church didn’t know how relieved we felt that we didn’t have to fight as many temptations from the American culture. They didn’t understand how energized I felt telling Buddhists about Jesus and making disciples. Sometimes we felt downright guilty that God called us to a tropical paradise that had one of the best cuisines in the world!

I wish that my church knew how hard it was to feed ourselves spiritually on the mission field. My wife felt spiritually dry for years until she joined a group of missionary women in a weekly bible study. Our children attended Thai churches for 18 years without a vibrant children’s ministry. I came from an environment where I heard great preaching every Sunday morning. We had regular opportunity to join equipping seminars and retreats for anything from strengthening your marriage to developing deeper spiritual rhythms. On top of that, I had spent several years studying the Bible and missions to get my master’s degree at ACU. However, in Thailand I suddenly found myself listening to weekly sermons, often from brand new Christians, with nowhere to go to fill my own cup.

The commitment to Thailand did come with costs. The medical system did not provide the best of care, especially during the early years; my wife almost died twice because of doctor’s mistakes, and we lost a full-term pregnancy to pre-eclampsia that was discovered too late. It was during these darkest of days that I wish our church knew how much we needed them. We tried to communicate, but we were numb and just trying to survive. Even if it’s not totally fair to expect a church on the other side of the world to know the extent of our pain, I wish that we hadn’t felt so alone.

I wish that they knew how much I needed their wisdom and spiritual oversight. I understand that shepherding is challenging enough to provide for the members who live nearby. It is far more difficult to care for members who live on the other side of the world in another culture. But the reality we lived in was one of spiritual warfare in a Buddhist and spirit-filled environment. We needed the help and protection provided by an eldership. I wasn’t prepared to lead a church planting full of baby Christians and to nurture new leadership. I could have benefitted from more guidance from older men with experience in shepherding the flock.

I share these thoughts so that other churches may learn from our experiences. Although I have shared things that I wish my church knew and wish could have been better, I am so thankful for everything that they did do for me and my family. Their strengths far outweighed any deficiencies and they excelled in their love for us.  Without them, we would have failed and prematurely returned home.