Caring for the Family...From the Mission Field

Caring for Family:

From the Mission Field
David Allen

On a rainy day in August 1994, my wife and I landed at a small airport in Chiang Mai, Thailand and began what was to become 25 years of missionary service. As we came to love the Thai people, it soon became abundantly clear that we had found our calling. 
 
We had lots of enthusiasm and commitment but little inkling of the trials that were soon to come our way. Fortunately, we weren’t alone; we had a strong supporting church, a great mission team, and were blessed by having healthy parents and their full support. 
 
The first year passed on to the second, and five years became ten. Eventually one parent casually asked, “So, when do you think you’ll come home?” We felt assured in our calling to work in Thailand, though we missed our family greatly.
 
Fortunately, the changing times brought advances in technology that allowed us to connect with our family. We lived through an incredible transition in history - the advent of the internet age. When we first moved to Thailand, our phone bills could reach $100 a month. However, when email became the norm, suddenly our letters were free and, even better, didn’t take 2 weeks to arrive! 
 
We felt like the future of science fiction had come when we enjoyed our first video call. It felt like our parents were next door. We set up regular times to connect and catch up with our family. Our children grew up with the ability to regularly communicate with the grandparents in a way that was previously impossible.
 
Technology enabled us to stay close, in some ways closer than families who live in the same state. No longer do missionary families have to give up a close relationship with extended family. Traveling home on furlough every 2 years was a great blessing and also kept us from feeling disconnected from our family and home culture.
 
Eventually, our parents began to experience the ailments that are common with growing old. We wished we could be there by our parents’ side as they went through some serious illnesses. We began to feel conflicted desires to be both in Thailand and back in the U.S. helping with family.
 
My father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and the onset of dementia. When I heard the news, I told him that I was ready to return home to help take care of him and mom. He assured me that he had plenty of support and did not want to be the reason that I left the mission field. My sister made an incredibly selfless step of resigning from her job and moving home to take care of my parents.
 
And then my brother was diagnosed with ALS. This greatly changed the situation; instead of my brother helping to look after my parents, my parents and sister began to help care for my brother. And I considered, “should we return home?” but they told me it wasn’t necessary.  
 
Aging parents and their special needs are among the main reasons missionaries return prematurely from the field. I am incredibly grateful to have parents who were excited and supportive of our work in the mission field. I am also very thankful that we had siblings who were there for our parents and to whom we could entrust their care while we were overseas. Without them, I don’t think that we would have been able to stay in the mission field as long as we did.