by Missy Gray

MRN Missionary Care Specialist

I’m new around here. Before I started working with MRN, my main gig was my therapeutic counseling private practice. I absolutely loved it. On the side, I was able to work with cross-cultural workers and women in ministry as a volunteer on a team that provided retreats for them. It continues to be one of my very favorite things. I had always wanted to be involved in missions, and this allowed me to be on the support team for people expanding the Kingdom and loving their neighbors around the world. Now that I’m with MRN, I get to support workers full-time, and I couldn’t be more excited about marrying the field of work and the people I love most! Over the next few months, we will get a chance to do this together as we talk about burnout, anxiety and trauma in cross-cultural worker care. This month, we will start by looking at burnout. I’m so happy to be here with you!

Burnout is a hot topic lately. Whether you’re looking through the lens of business, ministry, pop psychology, education, or social media feeds, you’ll find books, articles, podcasts, TED talks, and graphics on burnout. We see information on how to recognize, avoid, or address it—and you likely know how it feels even before you read another definition of what it is.  

Most of us have felt some version of burnout: the emotional and often physical exhaustion that comes from prolonged and excessive mental, physical, or emotional stress. It can look like the hopeless feeling of being sure that there is more for you to do than can ever be done. Or the struggle of being so passionate about a thing that never seems to change, no matter how hard you work. Or the frustration of days filled with things that are expected of you but feel unimportant, unmeaningful, and unenjoyable. Or the loneliness of believing that the burden to fix or take care of something or someone lands solely on you, and that burden is getting HEAVY. You might resonate with one or more of these. The workers we talk to regularly mention all of them.

We are being pulled from so many sides, from things that are happening in our world, our community, our circle of relationships, our family, and within ourselves.  It can be hard to pinpoint exactly why things feel so hard—and at the same time, hard to see any way it wouldn’t. It can be a struggle to keep doing the things we think we should be doing, and then in some cases to care about doing anything at all. Burnout is usually talked about as an occupational thing, but can happen in your work, your ministry, or even your relationships. For cross-cultural workers, work, ministry and relationships are often intertwined, and burnout can affect all of it.

Burnout is being reported more strongly and frequently now than in our limited memory. There are mass exoduses from workplaces and ministries, with few replacements in sight. Maybe this is because the resources we have to handle things have been reduced lately; or our stamina to “keep on keeping on” has atrophied in recent years; or our emotional resources have been used up on so many other things that doing what we do on an everyday basis has become overwhelming. Hard to say. But research says this: burnout is at an all-time high across professions and ministries.  And that is even more true in environments where the worker feels the burden of the work and the work is people-focused.  The conviction that the work is a calling rather than “just a job” can intensify that felt pressure. Cross-cultural workers certainly fit these descriptions. Maybe you do, too.

The last couple of years might have compounded some of these struggles for workers beyond that of the average person.  Many have had years of not being able to come for furlough or home assignment, working at a breakneck pace with people who were hurting desperately.  Others have been stuck in their house or apartment overseas, feeling ineffective and unable to do any of the things they planned but also unable to return home. Still others returned to their passport country and were in limbo as they waited for “next,” not knowing how long it would take. This time may have felt like a sweet time of blessing, or a deep, painful struggle. Either way, reengaging/restarting/continuing might be difficult now, and may be contributing to feelings of burnout. Add to that the compassion fatigue that people in “people professions” feel in hard times like this, and struggle becomes almost expected. As care providers, we need to have our eyes on the workers we are blessed to support, to make space for awareness, openness, support, and options. 

Burnout can present in many ways, and here are the most common:

Early signs of burnout:

- Difficulty concentrating

- Lack of creativity

- Reduced performance and productivity

- Anxiety or low mood

- Detachment, feeling numb

- Avoidance

- Fatigue despite rest

- Escaping behaviors

- Irritability, angry outbursts

Deeper indications of burnout:

- Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment

- Sense of failure and self-doubt

- Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated

- Detachment, feeling alone

- Loss of motivation

- Increased cynicism and negativity

- Strong impulse to quit or escape the situation/environment

Now, let’s look at ways that we often handle these feelings of overwhelm or burnout, some strategies that can be more helpful to move beyond it, and some supportive questions that we as care providers/support teams can ask to help others that might be experiencing early or advanced feelings of burnout. 

1.     Common strategy: Just keep going

When we feel things that we don’t like, find unhelpful, or that feel embarrassing or unfamiliar, it can be easier to just put our heads down and try to push through. We might think “it’ll get better—I just have to keep going” or “it doesn’t matter how hard it is—the work still has to get done.” This is especially true for people who have learned that the most difficult thing is always the best thing.

Stronger strategy: Use your feelings

Current burnout thinking indicates that people who acknowledge and address feelings, especially uncomfortable ones, experience less burnout. Feelings - positive and negative - are information. Allowing ourselves to experience feelings without judgment can be especially helpful as we decide what we need more of in our lives and work, and what might be released, adjusted, or prayed through. Am I feeling anxious about a conversation? Discouraged about a strategy? Excited about a new relationship? Feelings are just feelings - they can also be a critical way to listen to our spirit and take it to the Lord.

Questions to support:

Ask several questions about how the worker is doing before asking about the work that is being done. Open up conversations that show them you are open to hear pain, or insecurity, or struggle: People seem to be really be struggling right now - how have things been for you? What has been a frustrating/ sad/anxious/disappointing part of your work lately? How has ministry felt to you in the last few months? What feelings are you noticing that are surprising to you?

2.     Common strategy: Take a break

It is a common idea that burnout is a result of being overly busy. When people experience burnout, it is common to take a break, sabbatical, or time away. This can be a fantastic strategy.  But often, workers step away from everything, taking full space from all of the things that feel difficult—like a complete pause or vacation.  When they return from the break, the old feelings come back quickly, and often with the same or greater intensity.

Better strategy: Do what fills you

Current burnout thinking suggests burnout is less a result of being too busy, and more centered around doing things that constantly drain you.  This idea suggests that it is most effective to take intentional pauses.  What are things that fill and restore you? Time with family? Spiritual practices? Nature? What are parts of your work that give life—can you continue those? Taking breaks from things that drain you, while keeping the things that are life-giving and adding things that are restorative can have a much more significant positive effect when returning to your regular practices.

Questions to support:

What things have been more fulfilling to you lately? What things have sucked your energy? How do you connect best with God? Feel joy? Enjoy your family or relationships? How can you adjust your schedule to make more space for those things? How could you schedule Sabbath, or a day, or even a longer break to fill time with things that fill you and your family? How can we help you make this happen?

3.     Common strategy: Organize, Prioritize

When people are experiencing burnout and are feeling isolated in their work, it is common to think that if you could just get a little more organized, or if you just had a little more general help, that things would get better.  This is often true—but usually doesn’t solve the burnout issue.  You might get some volunteers, or create a new system, but your experience of the ministry is the same.

Stronger strategy: Work in your values

Current burnout thinking indicates that the people who experience the least burnout are working within their values.  Not just things that they think are good things, but specific things about which they are passionate.  This can be a cause such as ending childhood hunger, or a personal value such as making people feel seen, or an objective such as helping people know the saving love of Jesus. Often, when they are feeling high levels of burnout, they might notice that they are doing a lot of tasks that don’t support their specific personal values or give them space to work toward them. If you recruit help, or create new systems, could you free up more time to pursue your callings?

Questions to support:

What are the things that you care the most about? What do you feel God calling you toward? What kind of people do you feel the most passionate/compassionate about? How can we help you make more time for those things? 

4.     Common strategy: Try to control

People who work with people tend to experience higher levels of burnout.  When we feel a burden to fix or help or manage difficult situations for people we care about, we tend to attach to them with a part of the brain that feels as if the trauma or struggle is happening to us.  People who are highly empathetic experience this the most—out of a deep desire to help, the brain can actually respond as if it is our own trauma. Over time, this felt need to fix things for others causes a prolonged stress response in our brains that can lead to burnout. 

Better strategy: Recognize your role

Current burnout thinking suggests that operating from a position of compassion without the need to create a solution or attach deeply to a person’s problem minimizes feelings of stress and eventual burnout. This is an intentional process of growth for many of us who were wired to be helpers as Christians—we can be helpful and compassionate, but it is not our role to fix things for others. Recognizing our small role in the life of another person, and the role of the Lord as Savior, Healer, and Giver of all Good Gifts can help as we make this shift.

Questions to support: 

What does it look like to be faithful in this situation? What is yours to do? What is in your control? How can I pray for you as you decide what you need to do to help, and where there will be space for the Lord to show his faithfulness and goodness?

There are times as care providers that we will need to be prepared to intervene in bigger ways—to offer space to heal, or some strategic planning, or counseling, or an in-person visit.  Other times, we can make ourselves available in more simple ways.  Asking questions and having non-anxious conversations that allow workers to assess honestly, feel safe in struggle, feel supported by their team, and have a place to make plans that we can support can be a huge step toward avoiding or addressing times of burnout. May we be that safe place!