Asking the Questions - Debriefing Part 2
by Missy Gray
Care Specialist
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the honor of listening to a lot of stories. It’s a big chunk of what I get to do daily. The people I am sitting with are celebrating victories, grieving losses, processing history, and trying to figure out how to move forward when things are sad or confusing or disappointing. They often have had experiences where it feels that the tectonic plates of their lives or work have shifted, often in several areas, and the aftershocks can be just as disorienting as the events themselves. My role in this exchange is almost never to give advice, or provide the magic words to help it all feel better and make sense (oh, to have that superpower!)—rather, it is usually to listen, acknowledge feeling, ask thoughtful questions, and help them see patterns or make connections. It is holy ground.
Last month, we started our talk about debriefing: what it is, when to use each type, and what to keep in mind if you are caring for workers. If you didn’t get to read part 1, you might want to start here. Today, we are going to talk about some considerations for planning a debrief. Next month, we will wrap up the series with tools and a simple model to guide a debrief. Let’s jump in—but first, a reminder of what debriefing is:
Debriefing is an intentional process that allows someone to
tell their story,
examine it,
acknowledge the effects of it,
make meaning of it, and
decide how to talk about it in the future.
Each of these pieces serve critical roles in the health of a worker as they move through - or out of - their time of international work. The process doesn’t always happen in this stair-stepped order. More often, a person can move through and circle back as their understanding grows and changes. Often, a time of debriefing might not end with everything wrapped up in a pretty package, sound bite, or Bible class teaching outline, but instead lays the groundwork for continued processing.
Maybe you’re thinking about debriefing workers that you serve. What are some considerations to bear in mind as you plan the details of your debrief? To guide us, let’s use our tried-and-true “question words” from elementary school writing class (thanks, Mrs. Moore!).
WHICH type of debriefing is needed?
Is it organizational/strategic? Personal/maintenance? Critical incident/trauma? Reentry/reassignment? *Click here for a refresher of each of these.* Knowing the focus of a debrief and being able to communicate it clearly helps the worker prepare, and helps you to ensure that you discuss what the worker needs and expects.
WHO needs to be in the room for the debrief?
Who will be debriefed?
Is the content most appropriate for a conversation with the individual, with a married couple, or with a team/region? For instance, debriefing work progress or strategy might be a good team or regional conversation, while a traumatic event would likely be best alone or as a couple.
Is the information that needs to be processed private or sensitive, and more easily shared alone, or would it be more helpful or meaningful to process with a group of people? A debriefing of a member’s trauma with their team wouldn’t always be safe with the team in the room, but a reentry debrief is an excellent time to share experiences with other returning workers.
How would you determine if you need to change the format and bring in additional people to get better information, or shift from a team to an individual conversation to protect privacy? Being open to pausing the conversation or changing the format midstream to a better fit honors the needs of your worker.
Who should do the debriefing?
What kind of processing needs to happen? If you need to evaluate, hear about the work, or strategize, it might be an administrator or supervisor; if a traumatic event has occurred, you might want to use someone trained in critical incident or trauma-informed debriefing; for a reentry debrief, an outside provider allows workers to speak openly without team or organization there to consider.
Is the debriefer a person who feels safe to the worker? A new member of a missions committee already coming for a site visit is a very convenient person to conduct the debrief, but may not be the most helpful. When in doubt, ask the worker.
WHEN does the debrief need to happen?
How often will workers have planned debriefing?
Will there be scheduled site visit debriefs, home assignment/furlough debriefs, and/or reentry/reassignment debriefs? Planning a schedule in advance and communicating it allows workers to know what to expect. Regular times to process are important to the longevity and health of workers on the field.
What is the process after an unanticipated crisis?
Do workers feel permission to reach out and know who to call when a traumatic event has occurred? These debriefings are crucial, and often need to be referred to people who are trained for critical incident or trauma-informed debriefing.
WHERE should the debrief happen?
How does the type of debriefing needed affect the location?
Is the type of debrief needed best at the home office or mission committee member’s home, on site in the worker’s home environment, at a retreat center, or at an outside debriefing provider? Much of this decision can be a logistical one, but thinking about the best environment for safety and progress will be worth the effort.
WHAT happens after the debrief?
Will the worker have goals or plans that come out of the time? When possible, clarifying learning, growth, goals or plans can be very helpful.
Will the debriefer have tasks for follow up? Is any communication, reporting or documentation necessary? How and when will that be accomplished?
HOW will the debriefing look?
What format will you use? Will you use any structure, materials or activities? How long will you plan for the debrief? Will there be intentional breaks or times to decompress? Planning in advance will ensure that you don’t have a haphazard or rushed conversation.
WHOSE information is it?
Is the information shared in the debrief strictly confidential?
What things would be shared, and with whom? Some debriefings such as strategic debriefs might need to be shared with select others, whereas a maintenance or trauma debriefing might not be shared outside of the session.
Are there safety issues that you would share if spoken?
What would be on the list? Suicidal risk, abuse of children or elderly, or dangerous misconduct are among the things that would need to be reported.
How will you communicate regarding confidentiality (or lack thereof) prior to the debriefing? Forecasting prior to the start is essential to building and maintaining trust.
WHY are you doing the debriefing?
What are your hopeful outcomes or goals in your time with the worker? What are theirs? Discussing this at the outset can clarify and improve the time together.
We hope these questions are helpful as you think about debriefing workers that you serve, or if you are a worker who might want to suggest debriefing to shepherds that you trust. Next month, we will provide some tools and a simple model for debriefing. It is no small thing to be trusted with a person’s thoughts, feelings and experiences. As people sort their stories with us, may we be people who listen with intentionality, gratitude, and respect.